This is about how I picture Rampus.

This is an interview with the character Rampus, regent of Malorn and conqueror of Alasia in my novel In the Enemy’s Service.  For an explanation of why I’m interviewing my characters, click here.

 Pushing my way through the heavy blue curtain that hangs across the entrance, I step into the throne room of the Alasian palace. Regent Rampus sits on the ornate golden throne in the center of the room, watching regally as I approach along the red carpet.

“Thank you for being willing to meet with me, sir,” I greet him, stopping before the throne. “I have a few questions for you, if you don’t mind.”

He waves his hand expansively. “What better way for the people of Alasia to get to know their new ruler? By all means, ask what you will.”

“Very well, sir.” He does not offer me a seat, so I pull out my pencil and parchment and prepare to write standing up.

1. Do you like your job? Why or why not?

“Of course I like my job.” He laughs as though this is a stupid question. “Regent is the most important job there is, except for king, of course. But since his royal highness Prince Korram is still too young to take on that position, I gladly offer him the benefit of my counsel and services.
The young prince is so grateful for my years of experience and the load I daily shoulder on his behalf. All of Malorn benefits along with him, of course, and I humbly submit that our kingdom has thrived under my management as never before in its history. And now Alasia and its citizens are beginning to experience the benefits of my leadership as well.”2. Do you have any friends? Significant others?

The regent laughs again. “Need you even ask? All of Malorn is my friend. My kingdom loves me, as Alasia soon will too. Any man in Malorn would do anything I asked of him. Any woman I smile at falls in love with me. The wealthy and powerful sit at my table; the wise and skillful lay their riches of knowledge and talent at my feet. All the resources of both kingdoms are at my disposal now. It’s all mine!” His eyes are alight and his voice has been growing in intensity, but abruptly he seems to remember where he is, and his gaze focuses on me once again. “And of course I use it all in the service of Prince Korram, soon to be King Korram. The dear boy has been like a son to me since his father died.”
3. What is your idea of success?

“Complete power, of course. Again, to be used in the service of my prince.”

4. What do you hate?

“People who stand in my way.”

5. What do you do in your spare time?

“Enjoy the benefits of my position.” He smiles, fingering the intricate designs carved into the gold on the arms of his throne. “Look around you. Life is full of little luxuries for those capable of earning them.” He leans back on the velvet cushions, obviously comfortable and satisfied, then seems to recollect himself again and quickly sits up. “But of course that’s only when my long day’s labor is done, and even then I spend most of my spare time trying to think of more ways to serve my kingdom – both of my kingdoms – and my prince.”

6. What did you have for breakfast?

“Eggs, sausage, warm oatcakes with some delightful sort of syrup, and three kinds of fresh fruit from the palace greenhouse.” Rampus smiles again. “Quite a treat in winter, wouldn’t you agree? A small example of those benefits I was speaking of. Oh, and I had a cup of that sweet spiced tea that they make over here. Supposedly the late royal family was fond of it; I thought partaking of a local beverage for breakfast would be a nice tradition for Alasia’s new ruler to carry on.”

7. Did you ever have a pet? Describe it.
The regent gazes thoughtfully into the distance. “I kept a hawk for nearly fifteen years. Trained it myself and used it for hunting. You don’t know anything about grace and power until you’ve watched a hawk bring down its prey. I always admired its deadly speed, its unfailing accuracy, its efficient use of that hooked beak and razor talons to shred some helpless creature’s flesh.”
8. Do you believe in luck? Why?

“No; I believe in power. People who sit around waiting for good luck never get anywhere, but with enough power – wisely applied, of course – a person can do anything.”

9. What is your favorite scent? Why?

The regent’s expression grows dreamy. “There’s something about walking into a banquet hall where a feast has been prepared in my honor. It doesn’t even matter what’s being served – the mingled aromas are almost intoxicating.” He inhales deeply as though smelling them now. “For some reason other people’s feasts never smell as good. When I received word that the Invasion had been successful, we had quite the celebration back in Malorn. You should have smelled the royal banquet I ordered for the occasion.” But then his smile fades into a frown. “It would have been a perfect celebration, commemorating a practically perfect victory, but then that fool Arden had to go and ruin my evening.”

“Arden, sir?” I venture.

“The palace minstrel. He was supposed to prepare some music in my honor – that is, in honor of what our army had accomplished in Alasia. Instead he decided to be clever and sing some dreadful ditty denouncing me as a butcher and calling for a quick end to my rule and victory to my enemies.” The regent glares down at me as though it was my fault. “He completely ruined my celebration!”
10. What is the strangest thing you have ever seen?

Regent Rampus’s expression darkens still more. “People who think they can defy me and get away with it. Like Arden. But I showed him; I had him thrown into the dungeon, where he can rot until the end of time as an example to anyone else who may be tempted to follow in his footsteps. And he’s lucky to have gotten away that easy.”

11. What is the most frightening thing that has ever happened to you?

The regent glares at me again, still in a bad mood. “Frightening things don’t happen to me. I make frightening things happen to other people. To those who defy me. To those who get in my way. To those who think they can keep me from attaining everything I want. Everything!” He rises to his feet in anger. “Tell that to your readers! Tell them that no one can stop me, no one can stand against me, no one had better dare to ever try to thwart my plans. Or they’ll regret it, and they don’t know what fear is until they have felt my wrath.”

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This is an interview with the character Almanian, a Malornian military captain in my novel In the Enemy’s Service.  For an explanation of why I’m interviewing my characters, click here.

“Come in,” Captain Almanian calls when I knock on his office door. I open it and step inside, finding myself in a lamplit room that was looks as though it was once a small sitting room for palace guests, now turned into an office. The captain sits behind a large desk covered with a map and several sheets of parchment.

“Have a seat.” He waves me to a chair before the desk. “Let’s make this quick; I have a lot to do today.”

“I understand,” I assure him. “Thank you for being willing to meet with me.” I pull out my list of questions.

1. Do you like your job? Why or why not?

“I do my job.” His voice is expressionless, and he leaves it at that. I wait, but nothing else is forthcoming, so I go on to the next question.

2. Do you have any friends? Significant others?

“Not here in Alasia. I have friends and a wife back home in Malorn. Our two daughters are both grown and married.”

3. What is your idea of success?

“Victory.”

4. What do you hate?

“Incompetence. Laziness. Insubordination. People who are supposed to have joined my side but refuse to cooperate and follow orders.” From the annoyance in his voice, I can tell Captain Almanian is thinking of someone in particular.

5. What do you do in your spare time?

“When I have a moment to sit down by myself, there are always maps and reports to study. I’ve also been looking through different parts of the palace over the last couple of weeks, trying to familiarize myself with its layout and get a better picture of what Alasians are like as a people. It’s fascinating how much you can learn from what you find in an art gallery, a throne room, a royal suite, not to mention a library.”

6. What did you have for breakfast?

“Steak and eggs and weak Alasian coffee.”

7. Did you ever have a pet? Describe it.

“My wife keeps a couple of cats at home. I don’t care much for them, but as long as they stay out of my way, we get along all right.”

8. Do you believe in luck? Why?

“I believe a good soldier makes his own luck.”

9. What is your favorite scent? Why?

The captain frowns as though the question irritates him. “Scent? I don’t know.” He shrugs. “Fresh coffee, maybe. The Malornian kind, of course. I’ve got to ask around and see where to buy it here. There must be merchants who bring it over.”

10. What is the strangest thing you have ever seen?

He considers this for a moment. “People who refuse to accept change,” he replies finally. “Look at Alasia, for example. The citizens know there’s no going back to the way things were, so you’d think they’d settle down and accept our authority and the many advantages of Malornian rule. And yet we continue to face uprisings and rebellion, which only make things worse when we have to crack down harder. I don’t blame the people for being angry about what happened; for hating
us, even. But how will it help them to keep struggling even when it’s obviously too late to save their kingdom?” He shakes his head. “Pride is a funny thing.”

11. What is the most frightening thing that has ever happened to you?

Captain Almanian shrugs again. “It’s always a little frightening planning a campaign or working out a battle strategy. Lives will be lost one way or another, but how many usually depends on how I decide to do things. The men under my command have all accepted the risks, of course, but there are often civilian casualties too. It’s unfortunate when that occurs, as it had to here in Alasia, but sometimes that’s what it takes to accomplish a mission. And like it or not, we all do what we must.”

He pushes back his chair. “Speaking of which, I have to get back to work. I hope this has been helpful.” Rising to his feet, he gestures to the door, signaling that the interview is at an end.

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This is an interview with the character Wennish, a guard in the Alasian palace in my novel In the Enemy’s Service.  For an explanation of why I’m interviewing my characters, click here.

Wennish waves me to a stool beside his bed in the palace clinic. He looks weak and pale, but his voice is steady. “I’ve got nothing but time on my hands, so make yourself comfortable.”

I sit down and glance at my list of questions.

1. Do you like your job? Why or why not?

“I used to, back when I had one. The palace is a great place to work, and I loved the fact that I was helping to protect the royal family. I admired King Jaymin so much.” Wennish sighs. “I should have died in his defense, but my life’s goal now is to do anything I can to help his son.”

2. Do you have any friends? Significant others?

He scowls. “Most of my friends were on the palace guard, and they’re dead. But Tonnis and Eleya are helping me get through this, and little Anya, too – I don’t know what I’d do without them.”

3. What is your idea of success?

“Keeping the palace and its occupants safe.” He scowls again, staring up at the ceiling. “Obviously we failed at that.”

4. What do you hate?

“Malornians.” He practically spits out the word. “And traitors like Talifus. He swore the same oath of allegiance I did, but look what he’s done to Alasia.”

5. What do you do in your spare time?

“Lie here.” Wennish gestures around the little room. “Sleep sometimes. Think about everything that’s happened, and about what might be going to happen. What else can I do? Tonnis won’t let me leave the clinic, not that I could get far if I tried. Sometimes he and Eleya and Anya come and sit with me when they aren’t busy, and we talk. But I get terribly bored.”

6. What did you have for breakfast?

“Anya brought some fried potatoes and eggs over from the dining hall. We always get our meals cold now, because those Malornians insist on eating first. Oh, and I had some nasty sort of tea that Eleya brewed up. I have to drink the most horrible medicinal brews you can imagine.”

7. Did you ever have a pet? Describe it.

“My family had a cat when I was a boy. And my parents bought me my own horse when I turned sixteen. I loved being able to go where I wanted any time.”

8. Do you believe in luck? Why?

Wennish hesitates. “I suppose I do. I mean, Alasia didn’t deserve to be invaded. The king and queen didn’t deserve to be betrayed and murdered. If that isn’t bad luck, what is?”

9. What is your favorite scent? Why?

He thinks this over. “Maybe the smell of fish frying. My uncle’s a fisherman, and sometimes when he had caught more than he needed to sell, he and my aunt would come over for supper with some of the extras. My cousins and I used to play at soldiers out back while our mothers fried up the fish with onions and herbs.” He smiles, remembering. “Those were good times.”

10. What is the strangest thing you have ever seen?

Wennish smiles again. “There’s an odd little pile of rocks about a quarter mile off the northeast coast. You can’t see it too well from the shore, but it’s visible from some of the other islands. At the right angle, it looks like the head of some giant creature rising from the sea, looking up at the sky with its mouth open. I once stood at just the right spot at the right time to see the sea monster swallow the moon.”

11. What is the most frightening thing that has ever happened to you?

Wennish’s expression turns grim as he remembers, and he is silent for so long that at first I think he isn’t going to answer. When he speaks again, his voice is low, serious. “It was just a couple of weeks ago. I had the night shift up on the sixth and seventh floors, which is usually really boring. You just patrol the hallways and the stairs, and check in every so often to report that nothing’s happened. Well, about half way through my shift I thought I heard a distant shout from below, cut off right away. I headed down to check it out, and then I started hearing other shouts; and about that time I happened to pass by a window that looked out on the front courtyard. You can imagine my shock when I saw hundreds of soldiers in red and black uniforms pouring into the palace through every entrance. I started yelling, myself, to sound the alarm, and I ran toward where the king and queen have their suite on the fifth floor. But then soldiers were racing through the hallways toward me.”

He stares into space, breathing hard as though reliving the scene. “Two of them attacked me at the top of a stairway, and I managed to hold my own for a moment or two, but I knew I couldn’t defend myself against both for long. At one point, when I turned to parry a blow from the first man, the other slashed out and caught me right across the chest.” He fingers the bulky bandages under his tunic. “I tried to dodge, but it was too late, and I suppose I lost my balance and fell down the stairs. I don’t remember what happened, but Tonnis says I must have hit my head and lost consciousness.” Wennish reaches back to rub the side of his head. “It was a lucky thing, because they left me for dead. I nearly did die, but Tonnis found me still breathing in the courtyard later and brought me into the clinic. I’d lost more blood than I thoughtI had to spare, but he and Eleya and Anya have slowly been pulling me back toward health. He says if I hadn’t fallen backward just when I did, that sword would have sliced right through my heart.”

Wennish shudders. “I still sometimes wish it had, you know?” He seems almost to be talking to himself now. “Why should I still be alive when none of the others survived?” He closes his eyes, exhausted from the long speech, one hand still moving restlessly over his bandaged chest.

“Thanks for your time,” I whisper. “I’ll leave you to get some rest.” He doesn’t look up as I tiptoe out.

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This is an interview with the character Tonnis, a physician in the Alasian palace in my novel In the Enemy’s Service.  For an explanation of why I’m interviewing my characters, click here.

I sit down with Tonnis, a stout, graying man in his forties, in the front room of the palace clinic where he works. “Thanks for agreeing to meet with me,” I say, settling myself on one of the benches.

“You’re welcome. No medical emergencies at the moment, so it’s a good time,” he replies, leaning back against the wall from his own bench. “Go ahead.”

1. Do you like your job? Why or why not?

“Yes, I do. It’s fulfilling to know I’m helping people; saving lives, even.”

2. Do you have any friends? Significant others?

He looks away. “Most of my friends are dead now.” There’s a pause, and he clears his throat roughly. “Killed in the Invasion. But the Malornians let a few people live, and of course there’s my wife Eleya. Don’t know how I’d make it without her. And Anya; she’s become almost like a daughter to us in the few weeks she’s been here.”

3. What is your idea of success?

“Helping a patient to complete recovery.”

4. What do you hate?

“Losing a patient.”

5. What do you do in your spare time?

He shrugs. “Usually sit and talk with Eleya and Anya and Wennish, our one surviving Alasian patient. Before the Malornians came and made most of the palace off-limits, I’d often get a book from the palace library and read in my sitting room. Sometimes Eleya and I would go into town and visit our relatives on our days off.”

“What kinds of books do you like?” I wonder aloud.

“Oh, anything I can find about medicine or the sciences. Now and then Eleya will get a book of poetry and we’ll take turns reading aloud to each other.” He looks embarrassed.

6. What did you have for breakfast?

“Oatcakes with syrup in the dining hall.”

7. Did you ever have a pet? Describe it.

“When I was a boy I had a couple of dogs. Big bouncy ones with lots of energy. We lived near the edge of town, and my brother and I used to go hiking with them up in the hills.”

8. Do you believe in luck? Why?

Tonnis considers this. “I suppose so, if you consider luck to be good or bad things people don’t deserve. There’s certainly been a lot of bad luck for us Alasians lately.”

9. What is your favorite scent? Why?

He smiles almost shyly. “Yellow roses. Eleya used to wear them in her hair sometimes back when we were courting. We had them at our wedding, too. One of the palace gardeners knows we like them, and he’ll often bring us a bloom or two when he trims the rosebushes.”

10. What is the strangest thing you have ever seen?

Tonnis considers this for only a moment before starting to chuckle. “It was years ago, but I’ll never forget. Back when Talifus was a sergeant on the palace guard, he took sick one time with a high fever. It was the middle of the night, and he was in bed in the clinic, tossing and turning and talking to himself in his delirium. I had been sitting up with him for hours, trying to bring the fever down with tonics and wet cloths, and I must have dozed off in my chair. When I woke up, his bed was empty and the door was open. I jumped up and ran to find him, and I saw the
outer door standing open too.” He points to the clinic door beside the bench I’m sitting on. “I hurried outside, and there he was halfway across the courtyard, barefoot and in his nightshirt. He had picked up a riding whip that someone had left outside the stable, and he was wielding it like a sword, fighting off imaginary enemies and yelling battle cries in the moonlight.” Tonnis stops his tale to chuckle again, picturing the scene. “Half a dozen guards on duty were already hurrying over to see what was going on. A couple of them helped me disarm him and get him back to the clinic, and I made them all promise they wouldn’t tell anyone what they’d seen. I don’t know if they ever did or not, but I made the mistake of mentioning it to Talifus the next
day after his fever had gone down. I don’t think he ever forgave me.”

11. What is the most frightening thing that has ever happened to you?

Tonnis’s smile fades. “There’ve been a lot of frightening things since the Malornians arrived. The worst was a few days ago when Eleya and I almost got killed for something Talifus tried to pin on us.” He shudders. “I really thought we were going to die. If it hadn’t been for Anya and Lasden, we would have.” He swallows hard and turns to me soberly. “And as long as we’re forced to labor in the enemy’s service, that’ll be a daily possibility.”

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This is an interview with the character Lasden, a lieutenant in the Malornian army in my novel In the Enemy’s Service.  For an explanation of why I’m interviewing my characters, click here.

Lieutenant Lasden and I sit down in the empty conference room in the Alasian palace where he has agreed to meet with me. As I face him across the table, I notice he looks weary – not just the weariness that comes after a long day, though that’s there too, but the weariness that comes from discouragement, perhaps depression. His eyes are dull.

1. Do you like your job? Why or why not?

He doesn’t look at me. “I’m a soldier. I follow orders. What does it matter what I like or dislike?”

I wait for him to elaborate, and finally, reluctantly, he goes on. “No, I don’t like my job. Not anymore. Not since being a Malornian soldier came to mean invading a peaceful kingdom and slaughtering civilians.”

2. Do you have any friends? Significant others?

“I’ve got friends in my company, but no one I’m all that close to, especially lately.” He shrugs. “We don’t see eye to eye about the Invasion.”

3. What is your idea of success?

Lasden chuckles humorlessly. “If you’d asked me a month ago, I would have said defeating an enemy with minimal casualties on our side. But that’s pretty much what we’ve done in Alasia, and I can’t feel proud of it.”

4. What do you hate?

He stares, unseeing, out the window, where rain beats against the pane. “What we’ve become. What I’ve become. Oh, I’m a good soldier. I’ve always put everything I’ve had into this job. But I feel like a failure as a human being.”

5. What do you do in your spare time?

Lasden shrugs again. “Haven’t had much spare time since we came to Alasia. Before, I’d usually play cards or dice with my friends. Swap stories in a tavern or around a campfire. You know. On my days off when I was stationed in Sazellia, I liked to go out riding, or just sit down with a good book. Histories, especially.

6. What did you have for breakfast?

He frowns, trying to remember. “I think they served eggs with bacon this morning. Not bad, but the coffee isn’t as good here. I miss Malornian coffee.”

7. Did you ever have a pet? Describe it?

“My family has always kept horses. I think I learned to ride before I could walk.”

I look up from my list of questions, puzzled. “Then I’m surprised you’re in the infantry, not the cavalry.”

“I didn’t exactly have much choice.” Lasden looks away. “My father’s a colonel in the infantry.” His tone of voice makes it clear that further questions along that line would not be welcome, so I go back to my list.

8. Do you believe in luck? Why?

“No. I believe in skill. In my experience, soldiers who rely on luck don’t last long.”

9. What is your favorite scent? Why?

He considers this. “Wood smoke, I suppose. Especially if we’re sitting round a campfire roasting a rabbit we’ve finally had time to trap after days of field rations, on our way back home at the end of a successful campaign.”

10. What is the strangest thing you have ever seen?

Lasden thinks this over. “I saw a family of Mountain Folk up close once. Usually they stay up in the higher slopes of the Impassables, but in the winter they come down low where it’s warmer, and every now and then you see them camped in the foothills. My company was on our way
to the Western Wilderness, and we came across a group of them them trading for supplies in a little village near the Grenn. There were maybe five adults and twice that many children, all dressed in animal skins, most carrying spears. They looked just as savage as people say they are: shaggy hair, shifty eyes, and all. And it’s true, they do smell like the goats they keep. But something about how tenderly they treated their horses made me wonder if they might be a little more civilized than everyone thinks.”

11. What is the most frightening thing that has ever happened to you?

“I don’t know. I’ve had a lot of close calls since I’ve been with the army.” Lasden hesitates. “But usually, when you’re fighting for your life, things happen too fast for you to really feel much until afterwards. Really, I suppose I haven’t been as frightened out on the battlefield as I used to be sometimes at home, when I was a boy. When I did something to make my father angry.” He looks away again, and I can tell by the way his lips tighten that he wishes he hadn’t said that. Abruptly, he pushes back his chair and rises to his feet. “I have to go. I’ve got to make my rounds before the workers turn in for the night. Excuse me.” He strides to the door and leaves the room without a backward glance.

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Want to meet an Alasian?

With my second novel, In the Enemy’s Service, (hopefully) coming out this spring, I decided to create a series of “interviews” to introduce friends and fans to some of the main characters. Thanks to Tina Morgan at Fictionfactor.com, I discovered the idea of creating imaginary interviews with characters to help develop their personalities. Not all of her questions really apply to some of the characters I plan to interview, but I’m choosing to stick with them anyway. It helps me look deeper inside my characters as I consider how they would answer the odd questions. Never mind whether or not they would actually sit down and have a conversation like this with a stranger – if they did, this is what they would say!

I stop at the table in the palace dining hall where Anya has just finished her lunch. She looks up curiously as I take a seat on the bench across from her. “Hello. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?”

She drains the last of her glass of milk and shrugs. “No, but I might get in trouble if Lieutenant Talifus sees me just sitting here after I’m done eating. He’ll tell me to get back to work.”

“I’ve already cleared this with Captain Almanian,” I assure her. “Talifus will leave us alone.”

“All right.” She brushes a lock of brown hair out of her eyes. “What do you want to know?”

I glance down at my list of questions.

1. Do you like your job? Why or why not?

“Here at the palace?” She glances around thoughtfully at the half empty dining hall and the tired and wary workers finishing their lunch. “I guess so. I mean, I’d rather be back at school with my friends, but it’s fun helping Eleya and Tonnis in the clinic. I’m learning a lot about different herbs and how to use them to make medicines. And most people here have been pretty nice to me. But I’m scared of Lieutenant Talifus,” she admits. “He hates me. I’m afraid if he ever catches me doing something wrong, he’ll kill me.”

2. Do you have any friends? Significant others?

Anya frowns. “What are significant others?”

“Boyfriends,” I explain.

She blushes. “I’m only ten! I don’t think Father would let me have a boyfriend even if I wanted to.”

I shrug. “Maybe not, but aren’t there any boys you’re interested in?”

Anya hesitates, fiddles with her fork, not making eye contact. “Well, sort of. But I don’t actually know him. I’ve just heard about him. He sounds like someone I might like, though.”

“Yes?” I encourage her.

“Well, his name is Erik, and he’s Prince Jaymin’s bodyguard. He’s only twelve, like the prince, but people say he can fight better than most grown men. I just think he sounds really impressive. I’d like to meet him.”

“What about friends?” I inquire. “Do you have many friends?”

Anya laughs. “Of course! I have dozens of friends. But most of them go to my school or live in my neighborhood, so I haven’t seen them in the last few weeks. We have lots of fun together, though; or we did. My favorite thing to do with them is make up stories and act them out for our families to watch.” She grins, remembering. “I always get to play the part of the tragic heroine. You know why?”

I shake my head. “Why?”

Anya glances around as if to make sure no one is listening and leans forward conspiratorially. “Because I know how to make myself cry whenever I want. You want to see?”

I chuckle and glance around as well. “Maybe not right now. People might notice and wonder what’s wrong.”

3. What is your idea of success?

Anya considers this. “Finding out something important from Captain Almanian or Regent Rampus, like information I can pass on to the people helping Prince Jaymin. I’d love to be a real heroine and help him return and defeat his enemies.”

4. What do you hate?

“Traitors, like Lieutenant Talifus and Phenniel.” She scowls. “The king and queen are dead because of them.”

5. What do you do in your spare time?

Anya brightens. “I sew! I love sewing. I made the dress I’m wearing; see?” She stands up and pushes the bench back so she can turn in a circle, arms outstretched. I see that her dress is faded and stained near the collar with what looks like blood, but is of a stylish cut and well made.

6. What did you have for breakfast?

“Bread with jam, and scrambled eggs and sausage.” Anya plops back onto the bench again. “The food here is pretty good, but it’s always cold by the time we Alasians get any. We’re not allowed to eat our meals until after the soldiers have finished.”

7. Did you ever have a pet? Describe it.

Anya nods. “We have two horses back at home. My father’s a merchant, you know, and they pull his cart when he takes goods to and from Malorn to sell. It’s fun to ride them.”

8. Do you believe in luck? Why?

“Luck?” Anya frowns, considering. “I don’t think so. I think bad or good things happen because of choices people make. I guess you could call it unlucky for us that the Malornians invaded Alasia, but they made that choice.”

9. What is your favorite scent? Why?

This seems to stump her. “I don’t know. I don’t really care much about how things smell. I’m not really interested in flowers and perfume like some girls.”

10. What is the strangest thing you have ever seen?

“That’s easy.” Anya’s face lights up with excitement. “A blank wall that turned out to have a hidden door that opens on a secret passageway. I can’t tell you where it leads, though. I promised I’d never tell.”

11. What is the most frightening thing that has ever happened to you?

Anya’s expression turns sober. “It was when Lieutenant Talifus dragged me out of my neighbor’s house and forced me to come work here in the palace. I didn’t know where he was taking me at first, or what was going to happen to me. I thought I might be killed.” She stares down at her plate again. “I guess I still might. And I don’t know for sure if I’ll ever see my friends or family again,” she confides in a low voice. “But that’s one reason I’m trying to find out everything I can from the Malornians. If I can help Prince Jaymin defeat them, we’ll all be safe again.”

Click here to read my other character interviews.

After reading The Sign of the Beaver, by Elizabeth George Speare, I assigned my fifth graders a project with several sections. In one, they had to imagine they were going to go and live alone in the wilderness like the main character. They could only choose ten items they would bring with them, and they had to explain why. Most of the items were what you would expect: tools, weapons, food; but some of them were amusingly impractical or unexpected. Here are a few of my favorites:
hunting dog
salt
survival guide
bracelet-making kit with instructions
the Bible (actually, quite a few students wrote that)
strings
silverware
hatchet (someone’s been reading Gary Paulsen!)
sniper
poisonous darts
soccer ball
phone
towel (um… maybe he’d been reading Douglas Adams?)
iPod
camera
Mom’s necklace
nice shoes
sweets
MP3
picture of family

A couple more pieces of humor from other parts of the project:

Here’s how one student (a non-native English speaker armed with a thesaurus) described how to make a fishing device: “First, I will have to go and take my saw to amputate the tree’s bottom.”

Another student’s journal entry about a trip through the forest: “Today I came one 6th way to my destination. Three more quarters to complete!” Yikes, I think it’s time for another fractions lesson!

Interested in hearing about other fun teaching projects?  Click here to check out a post listing funny laws my students came up with for the imaginary worlds they created.  Notice the links at the bottom of that one that will take you to others.

Monday was one of those days.

I knew it might be a little hectic because it was the start of the second semester and I was getting two new students (and it’s the week before Chinese New Year break, so the kids would be antsy anyway). I was also told I’d have a high school student aide, which I was really looking forward to; I knew she would make my life a lot easier. I wasn’t sure what I’d have her do that first day, though, since a parent helper had made my whole week’s copies the Wednesday before and there would be no homework to grade (I don’t usually assign any over the weekend). But in any case, it would be great to have her.

I got to my classroom early that morning to make sure everything was ready. I was planning on teaching a lesson from a section of our new language arts curriculum that I’d never used before, and it involved a vocabulary chart that the teacher instructions assured me could be found on the CD-ROM that came with the new material. So before school started I put in the disk to make sure I’d have the chart ready to project onto the Smartboard later. Lo and behold, it didn’t work. I tried again and again, but got nothing but confusing menus and error messages. Finally I ran out of time, but I decided not to let it frustrate me. The chart was a simple one; I could easily draw it on the board, and the students would have the same thing in front of them in worksheet form anyway. Just a minor setback.

Well, 7:50 rolled around and I let my 5th graders into the classroom. The new ones both seemed happy to be there, and the class was welcoming (I had let them know about them beforehand.). But because everyone was so excited at the change, they were noisier than usual. Add to that the fact that I had to explain every step of every classroom procedure to the new ones while those who already knew how to do things got bored and restless, and you’ll see why my normally sweet class was a little unruly.

In retrospect, Monday was probably not the best day to try out a lesson from an unfamiliar part of the curriculum. But I’d looked over it long in advance and planned it all out, and I was sure I was ready, malfunctioning CD-ROM and all. I looked in the “Monday” folder by my desk where I keep all worksheets and supplies I’ll need for the day, and was surprised to see that the student copies of the article we’d be studying (to practice infering the meaning of unfamiliar words) were not there. Neither were the charts. And when I hastily searched my shelf, I couldn’t find the teacher’s edition that had the blackline masters and lesson plans, either.

Yikes! I knew I had had all those materials last week. Where could I have left them? Normally I’m pretty organized. I don’t usually leave piles of books or papers sitting around haphazardly in my classroom, and when I use something, I put it away in the exact spot where it goes. But the papers weren’t in the folder, and the book wasn’t on the shelf where I keep my teacher editions. And of course the students were getting restless once again while I looked.

I realized that the last time I had seen the book was when my parent helper took it to make copies from last Wednesday. Aha! She must have left it (along with the copies) down in the workroom. I would have to go get it at recess.

So, I hastily decided on a change of plans and announced that we would be doing math next. The math lesson went well, but as recess approached, I could tell we weren’t going to finish. I normally don’t like carrying over a lesson until after recess, but sometimes there’s no help for it. The situation was further complicated by the fact that one of my students is in ELL and gets pulled out for one-on-one help in between recess and lunch. Normally she just misses language arts (which she can make up with her ELL teacher), but today she would have to miss part of math. Oops. (Not that she minded!)

About that time my new aide appeared in the doorway, and I realized that amid the chaos, I had not come up with anything for her to do. So I introduced her to the students and then had to ask her to please just have a seat on the sofa at the back and wait.

It was rainy and cold, so I gave the students the option of playing inside instead of going out to the covered play area for recess. Little did I know that every single one of them would choose to stay in (that was a first)! Ever tried to figure out what to have an aide do in a room full of noisy kids excitedly playing Twister and Jenga and Uno? Well, I ended up giving her something to photocopy for me for a few weeks later, and I asked her to bring up the papers and books my parent helper had left down in the copy room. Sure enough, she found them there and brought them all back up to me a few minutes after recess was over. (Yay!)

So I taught the language lesson after we finished math, and it went fine, in spite of not having a chart for the Smartboard. But it’s always tiring teaching something brand new, especially something that involving. And it didn’t help that part way through (when I was taking a quick breather at my desk while the students searched their Titanic article for unfamiliar vocabulary) I suddenly realized we were supposed to do a science activity about physical properties and changes that afternoon. There it was in my lesson plan book, necessary materials listed and highlighted in blue the way I always do it so I won’t forget to look ahead and make sure I have what I need. But somehow I had completely forgotten the Friday before, and now I didn’t have anything ready. The measuring cup, spoon, balance scale, zipper seal bag, beaker, plug-in burner and thermometer wouldn’t have been a problem; I knew I had all those in my classroom cupboards. It would just have taken some time during my lunch time to dig them all out, and it didn’t help that I had lunch recess duty that day. But the ice cubes and cold water would have been a little trickier. I would have had to run home at lunch time when I otherwise could have been eating, and I wasn’t even positive we had any ice in the freezer at the moment anyway. I debated it mentally for the rest of the language lesson and finally decided to postpone the experiment until the next day and do Tuesday’s science lesson (much simpler with no unusual materials needed) that afternoon.

The day was made a little more chaotic by the fact that one of the new students kept asking questions about things in the classroom (like the behavior and homework boards and the “Star Helpers” job chart). I’m pretty strict about requiring students to raise their hands before speaking out, and I could soon see that this one is going to need a lot of practice in that area, and also to learn not to blurt out answers to questions I’ve asked other students, or to “help” classmates by telling them what the hard words say when they’re reading aloud.

What with all that had happened, we had been a little behind in pretty much everything all day. The students were still busily writing in their science notebooks when I realized that although we hadn’t covered everything we were supposed to, it was time for them to go to music. After that they would go straight to P.E. and Chinese, and there wasn’t even enough time for them to write down their homework assignments or pack up their backpacks before they left. So I had to tell them to come back to do those things right after school. The poor new kids were a little confused about where to go, especially for Chinese, since the class isn’t all in the same group. The two of them hadn’t taken their placement tests yet, but this week they’re all having special activities in honor of Chinese New Year, so I figured the exact group didn’t matter all that much. I just told them which other students to follow, and bundled them all out the door.

By the time I finally had the room to myself, my brain felt as fried and my voice as worn out as they usually do on the first day of school after summer. Then I had to grade the assignments my students had done that day… then someone came in with a stack of report cards for me to proofread before they get sent home in a few days… then I had to work on my Professional Learning assignment due this week… then school was over and the students came swarming back in to write their homework and pack up, and I realized I’d never explained the procedure for those tasks to the new ones… then both of their parents came in wanting to talk to me about how their first day had gone.

I had to stay longer than usual in my classroom getting caught up on lots of little miscellaneous things. By the time I finally headed home to make dinner, I really didn’t feel like staying up late to have my Chinese lesson that evening. It had been a long day! But I decided that the good thing about Mondays is that there’s a whole week still ahead of them. (Okay, so I know that’s the bad thing about them too!) But I reminded myself that there were still four more days for the week to get better. Four more days to recover from Monday. And just four more days until vacation. I can make it!

Never have I been so happy to be in Kentucky before! (Actually, never have I been in Kentucky before, but that’s not the point.)

We were supposed to fly out of John Wayne Airport in Orange County, California, on Tuesday. We would change planes in Houston on our way to Orlando, where we would spend about twelve hours at my parents’ house before flying on to Indianapolis. Then we would rent a car, drive to Kentucky, and spend two nights and a day there enjoying Mammoth Caves. After that we would drive on to Illinois to spend a few days with Floyd’s Great Aunt Wilma, drive back to Indianapolis, and fly to Florida for a week or so with my parents before eventually flying back to California via Denver this time.

It all seemed like a good idea when we planned it. Even the part where we would start our trip on Continental Airlines and then switch to Air Tran in Orlando. Why not? We got the best deal that way. So, we spent most of the frequent flyer miles we’ve been saving for the last several years and bought our plane tickets, using more miles to pay for the hotel rooms and rental car in advance.

My sister, who lives in Orange County, dropped Floyd and me off at the John Wayne Airport on Monday morning. We got there in plenty of time, checked in, and eventually boarded the plane, where we sat. And sat. And were told by the pilot that there was a problem with the number 2 engine that would take a few extra minutes to check out. So we sat some more, until we realized that at this point, we were probably going to miss our connection in Houston.

Without cell phones, how would we call my mom, who was expecting to meet us at the Orlando Airport at a certain time? We could use a pay phone later when we did get to Houston, but I didn’t have her number except saved on Skype and in my Yahoo address book. Aha! I could look it up on my brand new Kindle 3G! So I pulled out my Kindle and got to my Yahoo account, but couldn’t look up her number because it couldn’t open more than one window at once. Not to worry; I sent her a quick email to let her know that our flight had been delayed and that I’d tell her when we knew more.

We waited on the plane a little longer, and then the pilot came back on the intercom and told us the problem was bigger than they had thought and the flight was going to have to be completely cancelled. All the passengers would be let off the plane to go collect our luggage, and then we were to go back to the Continental check-in counter so they could arrange other ways to get us all to our destinations.

Floyd and I decided to split up; he would get the luggage while I hurried ahead to get to the front of the line. A good plan, but at least a dozen people in front of us had thought of the same thing. The line at the counter hardly moved at all, and by the time Floyd joined me 15 minutes or so later, I had estimated that at the current rate, it would take four hours for us to get to the front. I pitied the poor people at the back, who would be there for a couple days if nothing changed.

Well, they eventually got more employees to the Continental Counter, and we only had to stand there for about two hours before it was our turn. But the waiting was only just beginning. A helpful employee named May looked up our information and tried her best, but no flights she could offer us would get us to Houston in time to get us to Florida in time to catch our Air Tran flight to Indianapolis. She let us use her phone and asked us to check with Capital One (the source of our frequent flyer miles and through which we had booked the trip) to see if we could postpone the Orlando-to-Indianapolis leg.

I kid you not, Floyd was on the phone with them for nearly an hour. He kept getting put on hold while people checked to see how they could help us, and they kept on not being helpful. Meanwhile, May was still looking on her computer to see if she had any other options for us, but because Continental and Air Tran are not partners, she could only do so much. Eventually Floyd reported that the person on the other line had said we might have to pay a “service fee” to reschedule our flight, but they weren’t sure how much yet. The next report floored me. Apparently the only option the Air Tran people could give us was to completely cancel our original ticket (nonrefundable since this was pretty much the last minute) and book us a new one, which would also need to be paid for. And again, since it was pretty much the last minute, the cost would be sky-high. As in, five hundred dollars per ticket!!

I was horrified to hear that Air Tran wanted an extra thousand dollars for something that wasn’t our fault, AND that we would lose all the frequent flyer miles we had already paid. The only other option was to use every last frequent flyer mile that we still had to buy one of the tickets and to pay $500 for the second one. Just as bad. At that point I was about ready to cancel that part of our trip and just take Amtrak or the Greyhound bus from Orlando instead. But Floyd said that the unhelpful person on the other line had told him that if we did that, the airline would mark us down as having cancelled our trip, and we wouldn’t have our tickets to fly back to Orlando afterwards. Not only that, but the hotels and rental car were nonrefundable too.

Near tears in frustration, I explained to May (who had stepped away for a moment and had just come back to our spot at the counter) that Air Tran wanted a thousand dollars to reschedule our flight. May  was almost as outraged as Floyd and I were, and she got back on her computer to try to help us some other way. Floyd asked the lady on the phone to wait while we discussed our options, and then he and I held our breath while May kept tapping away. We never found out exactly what she did that she hadn’t tried before, but in a few minutes she got excited and announced that she might have something for us. She got on her phone and told somebody that she needed two seats on “that United flight from LAX to Orlando later tonight”. Then she scurried around and printed two shuttle tickets for us, and also a couple of free meal passes to apologize for the inconvenience; and she took us to the United counter to print our boarding passes and to make sure there was a printed record that we had already paid for our check-in luggage. Along the way she explained with an air of apologetic embarrassment that she had “stolen” the seats and that her boss was going to be mad in the morning. We never found out exactly what that meant, and we protested that we didn’t want her to get in trouble for our sakes, but she assured us that it was fine.

So we got on a shuttle van headed for LAX, and on the way I pulled out my oh-so-handy Kindle once again to email Mom about the latest turn of events.

The (new) problem was, even though this new flight was going to take us straight to Orlando, it was a “red-eye”. It would get to Orlando at 6:45 the next morning, exactly 65 minutes before our 7:50 flight to Indianapolis was supposed to leave – assuming both flights were on time. So there was no way Floyd and I would be able to go to my parents’ house in between flights as originally planned. Actually, we realized with growing alarm that there was no guarantee we’d even make our Air Tran flight, especially if United was late or we had to pick up our baggage in between.

We got to LAX and checked in at the United counter, where we asked if they could check our bags all the way to Indianapolis. First the guy said yes, to our great relief, but our hearts sank when he looked at his monitor again and muttered, “Oops.” Turns out that wouldn’t be possible because United and Air Tran aren’t partners. I had never realized how important the “partner” thing was before, but it was turning out to be a big headache. Well, we would just have to hope we’d land promptly in Orlando, have time to collect our luggage, find the Air Tran counter, check our bags in for the next flight, and be at the gate ready to board, all in 65 minutes.

Waiting to board our United flight, I used my Kindle once again to look up the Air Tran website. There I discovered that customers are required to check in their luggage no later than 45 minutes before the flight leaves. YIKES! That meant we only had 20 minutes to get off the plane, get our luggage from the carousel, find our way to the Air Tran counter, and get to the front of the check-in line, of course assuming we didn’t arrive late.

I tried unsuccessfully to find a map of the Orlando airport so we could at least study our route in preparation for racing through it, and a conversation with an airport employee left us even more concerned. (He didn’t seem to think we had a very big chance of making it, though he said we’d find an airport map in the in-flight magazine after we boarded.)

Back on the Air Tran website, I succeeded in going through the online check-in process (including paying for our check-in luggage again), though there was no way to print our boarding passes from the Kindle. But we hoped that having checked in already would make the Air Tran folks a little more kindly disposed toward us if we showed up at the counter a little less than 45 minutes before the flight. We also agreed that Floyd would once again go get our luggage while I hurried to get in line, though of course I wouldn’t actually be able to check us in before he joined me.

We waited and waited to board our United flight in LAX, and then the United guy at the boarding gate announced that the reason we hadn’t started boarding already was because the flight crew hadn’t arrived yet. They were on another flight that had just landed (late), and they would be there as soon as possible. Floyd and I exchanged nervous glances at that. We also felt uncomfortable because the flight was completely full with a stand-by list, and two more people who had been hoping to fly stand-by would have been able to if not for us. Maybe that was what May had meant by “stealing” the seats. Oh well, there was nothing we could do about it now. And at least we had heard an announcement that our plane was supposed to arrive six minutes earlier than originally stated, so hopefully the flight crew’s delay wouldn’t eat into much more than those extra six minutes.

Finally the flight crew showed up and boarded, and a few minutes later passengers were finally allowed to board. The guy at the gate asked everyone to please find their seats as quickly as possible and not block the aisles when they put their luggage into the overhead compartments, so that everyone could get by and the plane could leave right away since it was already running late. Well, it seemed to me that the line had never moved more slowly, and that I’d never seen more people blocking others’ ways to arrange their luggage. Even when we finally found our seats, it turned out we were in the wrong ones and we had to wait for a gap in the line to step back into the aisle and move one row forward. We were thankful that June had found us spots in Economy Plus (a free upgrade!), where there was a lot more leg room.

By the time everyone was settled and the plane finally took off, we were thirty minutes behind schedule, and the in-flight magazine had no helpful airport map after all. At least I was able to stop stressing about the possibility of missing our connection, since it was now obvious that we would miss it no matter what. We would just have to make a new plan when we got to Orlando, but although there was no way I was going to pay an extra thousand dollars for our next flight, what else could we do? And then it occurred to me that if we were lucky, our next flight might possibly be running late too, in which case we would still have a chance. That was enough to get me hoping (and thus worrying) again, even though I tried to just pray about it all and then put it out of my mind.

Eventually I was able to get to sleep, even though Floyd and I discovered that in Economy Plus the seats don’t recline at all. Bummer. But the next thing we knew they were turning the lights back on and announcing that we were on final approach to Orlando, and it was just after 7:00 a.m. Apparently we had made up a little of the lost time in the air.

When we got off the plane and realized how big the Orlando Airport is, we decided we’d better stick together until we figured out where everything was. We hurried to the carousel, and luckily it didn’t take long for our two suitcases to show up. We followed signs and bystanders’ directions toward the Air Tran counter, praying and running most of the way. I sprinted ahead to get a good spot in line while Floyd followed with the heavier luggage.

The signs took me to a place where we would have to stand in a line to go through security, and I stopped at the back of the slow-moving line to catch my breath and wait for Floyd. But when I turned around, I saw to my alarm that he was no longer behind me. I waited and waited and let other people go ahead, but Floyd didn’t show up. Where could he be? I asked an airport employee if this was the only way through security, and he pointed to another place where people could get in a different line. I thought maybe Floyd had somehow lost sight of me and gone to the other line, but he wasn’t there either. I returned to the first line and he still wasn’t there.

By now I was getting really concerned. I knew he couldn’t have gone through without my knowing, because we had to show our boarding passes and ID, and I was carrying both our IDs. (We didn’t actually have boarding passes, but I hoped the security people would understand when I explained our situation.) All I could think of was that maybe he had accidentally dropped something or realized he’d left something on the plane and hurried back to get it, knowing he’d catch up with me eventually in line.

Well, I paced back and forth between the two lines for maybe ten minutes, and in the process found a monitor listing all outgoing flights and their status. Sure enough, the Air Tran one we wanted was scheduled to leave on time. Uh-oh.

Suddenly, to my surprise, Floyd reappeared from a completely unexpected direction, with even more unexpected news. I had gone the wrong way (how was I supposed to know that, since Air Tran was one of the airlines listed above the security area where I was waiting?), and someone else had told Floyd the right way to the Air Tran counter we wanted. He had already been there (it was just around the corner) and had spoken to an airline employee at the counter, who had told him that although it was now too late to check in for our scheduled flight, there was room on the next one, and we could leave an hour later instead, at no extra cost.

Wow. It was almost like one of those stories where the author doesn’t know how to end it, so she just inserts some cheesy solution and ties up the loose ends so abruptly that the reader is left sitting there going, “Wait. After all that, this is it?”

This apparently was indeed it. Floyd took me back to the counter, we stood in line and checked our luggage in, got our boarding passes, and wandered off toward our gate still reeling at how perfectly God had answered our prayers. On the way to the gate, we saw the plane we ought to have been on taxiing out toward the runway without us. I hope there were two standby passengers on it, thanking God that our seats had been available.

Our flight from Orlando to Indianapolis was uneventful, except that Floyd was concerned the rental car we had reserved might not still be available if we were an hour late. But after everything we had been through, that possibility seemed too small to worry about (much).

Having worried so much and slept so little on our red-eye, we spent most of this flight asleep. After we landed (and I added the Indianapolis airport to my list of global favorites), we decided to use our free meal vouchers now that we actually had time and were hungry. So we bought hot dogs and chili and a Starbucks coffee and some muffins and fruit to help carry us through the next couple of days, and brought it all with us as we headed down to find our luggage.

Having spent the extra time getting grub, we were the last ones from our flight to arrive at the carousel, which was empty and had stopped. We weren’t worried, though, since there was an Air Tran luggage room right there, and we could see several suitcases on the floor inside as we approached. Sure enough, ours were among them, but the lady behind the desk looked at us funny when we asked for them. “Are you sure? Because the luggage tags on them say they’re supposed to go back on the flight to Orlando.”

Floyd and I were shocked, but we bent down to look, and sure enough, the tags stuck on by the Air Tran folks back at the counter in Orlando did indeed say that they were supposed to go to Orlando via Indianapolis. What in the world?! Fortunately the lady here had thought that seemed a little odd too, and had pulled them aside instead of putting them back on the plane. We were truly thankful she had done so, especially since we’d gotten there late. We could easily have arrived at her desk only to find out that our bags – containing everything we needed for the rest of our trip – had returned to Florida without us. Or even if they had still been there, red tape and airport security issues could have prevented us from being able to claim them. But no, God was helping us out once again, and the lady gave our suitcases right back. She just asked us to let her peel off and keep the tags so her office would have them as a record of what had happened.

Bags in hand, we found a bench where we could sit down and eat our hard-earned free chili and hot dog and breathe a sigh of relief before going in search of our rental car. Which did happen to still be available. And we drove away thanking God from the bottoms of our hearts for how he had worked everything out.

We enjoyed the scenic drive from Indiana to Kentucky (although I slept on and off through most of it), successfully found our hotel room, and hit the sack early. This morning we visited the gorgeous Mammoth Caves and are now back in the hotel ready to hit the sack again. Tomorrow we’ll drive on to visit Aunt Wilma, and in a few days we’ll be ready to do the whole thing again in reverse. At least, as far as Orlando. Hopefully we won’t have any more adventures before we get there! Or before we fly back to California the week after that.

It’s after midnight here, so I’d better go. Tomorrow will be another long day of (hopefully uneventful) travel.